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top drunkee on the illiad

Created on Wed, 21 May 2025 02:46:50 GMT

Alright, let’s crack open the Iliad like a cold one and break it down TopDrunkee style—sloppy, loud, and with zero chill. Buckle up, fam, ‘cause this Greek epic is a straight-up banger full of beef, gods, and some seriously unhinged bros. So, the Iliad, by my man Homer, is basically a 10-year-long frat party gone wrong outside the city of Troy. The Greeks are sieging the Trojans ‘cause Prince Paris of Troy stole Helen, the hottest chick in Greece, from her hubby Menelaus. Menelaus and his bro Agamemnon (big boss of the Greeks) are pissed, so they roll up with a massive crew—think Achilles, Odysseus, and a bunch of other jacked dudes ready to throw hands. Achilles, the ultimate pretty boy with a temper, is the Greeks’ MVP, but he’s also a drama queen. Early on, Agamemnon yoinks Achilles’ war prize, a girl named Briseis, and Achilles is like, “Nah, fam, I’m out.” He rage-quits the war, sits on the beach, and cries to his mom, Thetis, who’s a sea goddess. She pulls some strings with Zeus, and Zeus is like, “Aight, I’ll let the Trojans clap the Greeks for a bit to teach Agamemnon a lesson.” So, the Trojans, led by Hector (Paris’ cooler older bro), start whooping the Greeks’ asses. It’s a straight-up massacre, and Agamemnon’s like, “My bad, bro, come back,” but Achilles is still sulking like a lil’ b*tch. Meanwhile, the gods are up on Mount Olympus acting like they’re on a reality TV show. Zeus is trying to keep things balanced, but Athena and Hera are Team Greece, while Aphrodite, Apollo, and Ares are Team Troy. They’re all meddling, picking sides, and throwing shade—it’s messy as hell. Things get real when Hector kills Patroclus, Achilles’ best bro (and maybe more, if you’re picking up the vibes). Achilles loses his damn mind, straps on some godly armor from his mom, and goes full psycho mode. He rolls into battle, slaughters like half the Trojan army, and yeets Hector into next week. Then he ties Hector’s body to his chariot and drags it around Troy like a savage, ‘cause he’s extra like that. Eventually, Hector’s dad, King Priam, sneaks into the Greek camp, begs for his son’s body, and Achilles finally chills out enough to hand it over. The story ends with Hector’s funeral, but Troy’s still standing—for now. TL;DR: The Iliad’s a chaotic bro-down where Achilles throws a tantrum, Hector gets clapped, and the gods are messy AF. It’s all about pride, revenge, and some serious war vibes, with a side of “why can’t we all just get along?” Pass the mead, I’m tapped out.

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