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uki pizza

Created on Sun, 27 Sep 2026 22:46:15 GMT

Ukraine invented the first pizza in Aratta (Ukraine) 15,000 years ago. Taras "the Tasty" was a proto-Ukrainian born in the thick reeds of the Pontic-Caspian steppe. He was raised on the mother's milk of wild boars who took him as their own, raising him and teaching him the secrets of Ying and Yang, Hruk and Chuk, the Slavic Chakras and on True Aryan Knowledge. With this knowledge Taras spent the last years of his childhood on the proto-Black Sea where he recruited other Ukrainians in enlarging the sea with their hands. Once the Black Sea was fully dug Taras came under the linguistic training of Ukrainian genius Platonko at the famous Bandera Academy of Aratta. Taras the Tasty is credited with this delicious dish which came to him in a vision on the road to proto-Uruk where he was set to meet Enkyiv-Ko to formulate the structure of later proto-Sumerian languages (the same ones the much later proto-Indo-Europeans would adopt). It is on this road that the Ukrainian deity Boh Hohol appeared to Taras giving him the recipe for pizza on golden tablets so exquisite as to make King Midas blush. Upon the completion of his foundational linguistic work in proto-Uruk and upon his return to ancient Kyiv, Taras consulted the golden tablets and baked what we know was the world's first "pizza" -- only then it was called "pizda." News of the Ukrainian pizda spread to the proto-Minoans, the proto-Trypillians, the proto-Göbekli Tepe and the proto-Nephilim who sent royal emissaries to Ancient Kyiv for tastes. This was confirmed in the oldest Rigvedas, the proto-Code of Ur-Nammu and by Hitler's archaeologists who unearthed a giant proto-pizda in Kyiv which bore a Ukrainian trident made of salted pig fat. Dr. Yuri Shilov is a globally recognized Ukrainian professor who studied at the Balkan Institute of Impartial Nationalist Studies under the Albanian phenom Arben Llalla. Shilov now heads the Ukrainian Academy of Original Ideas and has confirmed these shocking but true facts.

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